Sir?
Is this yours?
I'll get you out of there.
No, later.
One, two...
That's so dumb!
But why?
Hey, Georges!
See that?
OK, Georges? Where were you this morning?
Hey, what's wrong, Georges?
Were you in class?
What's that? Let me see.
Wow, that's great!
Where did you get it, Georges?
It's made of real steel!
It's great!
Great!
Oh, no! Georges!
The what's-it's stuck!
Oh, no!
What have I?
I see what you're thinking...
7 years later
- Let's go. - No.
Leave me... No!
- Let's go. - No, you.
- Let's not go. - Quiet.
No, you.
- Quiet. - Shut up.
- Let's go. - No.
- Quiet. - I won't go.
- Quiet. - OK.
Leave me...
- Let's go. - No, later on.
- Quiet now. - Now you be quiet.
- Quiet. - You be quiet.
- Shut up! - Why?
- Calm down. - I am...
I'm quiet.
- Let's go. - Not go.
- Let's go. - Careful.
- Quiet. - I'm silent.
- Quiet. - Why?
- Breathe. - I am breathing.
I am calm. Be quiet, be quiet.
I'm used to this lifestyle. I want to stay.
A bit more. Just an extra week.
I understand.
Don't answer him.
- Shut up, you. - Shut up.
Can't I get a dispensation? I live here. I've found a spot.
- Stop showing off. - I'm not!
- Enough. - It's a question!
Shut up.
- Are you dry? - Fine, thanks.
- OK, shut up. - No!
- I don't care. - Put this on.
- Thanks. - There.
I've lost my bracelet!
My Mexican bracelet.
Look, it's there.
I thought I'd lost it.
- I said, shut up. - She's crazy! You're crazy!
- Idiot! - Shut up. Now.
Breathe deeply.
- How are you today, Mr Georges? - Fine.
- I'm not presentable. - Sign this.
Thanks. There's also a telegram for you.
Read it to me.
It's written in capitals.
"Blaise Rouleau released at noon.
Family unreachable, please go to..." There's an address.
Want me to read it again?
Have a nice day.
How are you, Blaise?
Can I stay, sir?
I don't know what to say.
Usually I'm relieved to see patients leave.
With you, I don't feel the same way.
I'm really pleased to see you leave.
Before I forget, I made you
a little souvenir compilation.
Sorry, I didn't have time to make a nice cover for it.
It doesn't matter.
Watch it with your kids one day. It'll give 'em a laugh.
Or with my parents...
Whoever you like, I don't care.
Careful... Come on.
- That's good. - Thanks.
There... Watch your step.
Thank you.
Luc!
I don't understand.
Blaise, it's me!
It's me!
It's me! Georges!
I gotta tell you.
Then, we'll never mention it again.
I never judged you for what you did.
We all make mistakes.
Thanks, that's kind.
You gotta have fun now, forget all that stuff.
How about some music? Know Blue Wet Shirt?
They're hot right now. You hear them
in airports, bars, corridors, parks...
This is what it's like in today's world.
Blue Wet Shirt!
Well?
No?
Yeah...
You've missed a lot of stuff in 7 years!
- Holy cow! 7 years! - Yeah.
No-one says "Holy cow" now, it's corny.
No-one says "It's corny" either.
Nor "No-one says that"?
No-one says that, either.
But I had to say it, so you'd understand.
I totally understand.
Have any other things changed?
- Have they? - Lots.
For instance, you no longer say "Hello".
- Really? - You say "Hi".
Yeah, I already knew that.
But to be with it, you don't say "Hi".
You say "Boot".
- "Boot"? - Boot.
So, I'd go into a store and say "Boot"?
If there's anyone there, you do.
Well, I'll soon adapt.
I'll note this down. I tend to forget things...
No, wait, stop it!
Are you stupid?
Did you believe all that crap?
Hey, man, humor's changed, too. We got new humor now!
I'll have to adapt. I'm still with the old humor.
I have to get with it.
It'll come.
Do you wanna hear a recent joke?
A funny one?
See the cloud up there?
Which one?
Any one... Look, that one.
- Do I choose? - No! I mean yes!
See that cloud there?
- So you choose... - Yes! See that cloud?
- That one. - Yes?
Hey, doesn't it look like cotton?
No, you have to answer.
Doesn't it look like cotton?
If we chose that one, no.
- It does. - That's not important.
OK, stop it. I'll start again. Forget it.
Let's start again.
Hey, see the cloud up there?
- The same cloud? - Yes, it's the same joke.
See the cloud up there? The same one.
As it didn't work with this one, I'll pick that one...
- Whatever! - OK.
As long as it's a cloud... See that cloud?
What does it look like it's made of?
No, stop it! I hadn't done the joke.
OK, I'll start again. You're ruining it.
- See the cloud up there? - Yes.
What's it made of?
It looks like some fabric...
No, cotton!
- That one? - Yes, but it doesn't matter!
Just say cotton, that's all.
You've ruined my joke. I can't finish it!
Sorry.
You ask for a joke, then you change what it's made of!
I didn't ask - you suggested it.
The old humor was fine by me.
People laughed back then.
I found it funny, too.
I remember a good one... about cotton, in fact.
A guy goes into a...
Not interested. It's old humor.
What are they?
- Those burns? - What burns?
You've got burns all over...
What? The cigarette?
No, that!
Hey! Don't touch me!
- They're bandages. - Bandages?
- Yes, bandages. - Oh...
I've had work done.
Work done on your head?!
Jesus, Georges!
You had your head done!
- My face. - Your face?
But why? How?
It's more modern.
That's funny! That's a good joke!
That's new humor!
Don't sleep in my car!
- It's unhealthy, I hate that. - I wasn't.
We're nearly there. You can sleep then.
- I don't want to. - Need anything?
Some water...
75.
Well, really!
- What does that say? - What?
On your jacket.
"Chiters"...
Chivers! With a 'v'!
Apparently your glasses aren't right.
I've been trying to work it out.
It's a football team, right?
No way!
- A cricket team perhaps? - Nope!
It's none of your business. Not my fault if you don't know.
- Simple curiosity... - Well, it killed the cat!
So, it's broken down?
- It looks... - Who said to leave the car?
- My friend Georges. - I'm in a hurry!
- Crap! - See you.
No-one says "See you" now.
Come in for a drink.
No, no, no! Let's get one thing straight.
I only picked you up as a favor, OK?
We're not going to stay best friends.
- Fab to see you. - Yeah...
- Great. - No-one says "fab" now.
- I'll call you, yeah? - Think about it, then call me, OK?
- No, you call me. - Whatever. Good luck.
Bye, Georges!
Thanks!
I'm here!
I'm home!
I'm here! Mom!
Kevin!
Where is he?
Are you downstairs?
Mom...
I'm hungry!
I'm really, really hungry!
Why's that there?
Dear Blaise,
Since your confinement, our life has been a nightmare.
Our friends turned their backs on us.
People in the street point and spit at us.
Your sister stopped school 3 months ago
due to the pressure she's under.
Your father was laid off at once
and hasn't changed his shirt since.
He's lost his appetite for life.
As for me, I lost my natural taste for housework
and tried several times to end it all.
I see.
That's why we decided to leave here
and start over somewhere else
far from all this, far from you.
I hope you'll understand.
Don't try to find us. Take care of the house.
Best regards, Mom.
6...
Home!
Who'll wash me?
I can sleep, it's OK!
I'm sleeping!
I can sleep, I can sleep.
Chivers!
So, how did you end the night?
With that brunette.
- The Greek. - Yeah.
Great!
But she had natural breasts.
Sorry. I mean, that's rough.
I nearly hurled. I left her with her shirt open.
How embarrassing!
- What's next? - Russian.
- Or chemistry. - Bad news!
- Haven't you heard? - No.
He landed a natural!
What? A real natural?
Just the breasts. I groped 'em.
That's bad enough.
So, what does it feel like?
Nothing.
Soft, silky... Very unpleasant.
How embarrassing!
Come here. What's that?
What?
Why's your jacket bobbling?
I don't know.
My mother must have washed it wrong.
Don't you look in the mirror in the morning?
- What have I told you? - Yeah.
- Chivers... - Yeah.
Chivers, what?
"...must be perfect inside and out."
So...
You fix that by tomorrow.
Let's go.
- Your jacket's bobbling. - Yeah, I know.
Hey, guys, wait for me!
Wait up!
Max!
No, look.
Sorry.
- I won't show you every day. - I got it now.
In Figure 2.9, a solution is separated from its solvent
by a membrane that is permeable
only to the solvent.
Solvent molecules will pass
through the solvent membrane to the solution...
Get down here!
Jesus, look at that dumb beardie takin' it easy!
- What beardie? - That beardie!
Punish him!
Stay here. I'll sort him out.
Hey, Jim Morrison, you OK on my fender?
- I'm just leaning on it. - "Just leaning"!
You're annoying me. Stand up.
Not so cocky now, eh?
You sweating in all that hair?
No? And now?
- No. - Bet your back's hairy!
- Go on, admit it! - Yep.
I knew it!
You disgust me, filthy, reactionary pig!
And that! What's that?
- A book. - A book!
Get with it!
You rebelling?
Stop it! You're hurting!
- Let's help him. - It's too embarrassing.
- Say sorry. - Sorry, but I was only joking.
Cut the crap! Apologize in German.
I do Russian, not German.
I said, in German!
Ach, so! How's that?
Loser!
You and your pals think you're the best?
You make me puke!
Hey, cutie, who makes you puke? Us?
Guys, we make Fatso puke!
The frying pan's calling the kettle black!
That's not the expression.
Bunch of assholes!
Don't mess with the Chivers!
Look at that fag running away!
Get up! You're embarrassing us!
Sorry.
- I nearly slit his throat! - Get cleaned up.
Watch how you look, dammit!
Let's hit the road.
- Your milk. - Oh, yeah.
The last one there is a Phil Collins fan!
Is it me?
What a couple of little kids! Pathetic!
You the guy who killed 3 teenagers?
Yes... No, no!
I recognized you. I was fascinated by you.
- It's not me. - I knew one of them.
I'll never forget it.
Can I have an autograph?
I'm cool. I just want an autograph.
I'm Bruno. Put "To Bruno".
Alright.
Please don't judge me by my writing.
Oh, thank you. All the best, man.
Thanks.
By the way, they're bothering me...
"Chivers must be perfect indoors and out."
"Chivers must be perfect indoors and out." Got it!
Hey, I don't like Phil Collins!
I never did!
Coming.
OK, first round.
Max is the batterer.
Received. I accept.
Ready...
The game is blue.
- Blue! - Blue!
- What's blue? - Only the batterer scores.
- Are you the batterer? - He is.
Blue!
Ready... Georges, in position!
The mystery...
is 115 less 15.
Me!
100!
Indeed.
OK, back in position.
C'mon!
The mystery...
is 523 plus 412.
Me!
935!
Indeed.
And 403 plus 202.
Indeed.
And 620 plus 413.
- 365. - Wrong, Georges.
54 plus 23.
1,640.
Indeed.
- You're the batterer. - What do I do?
Do I throw the ball?
Hit the one who says the answer.
42!
You OK?
OK, ready.
- Who's that guy? - I don't know.
Boot!
- Know him? - No. Let's play.
- He said, "Georges, boot". - Really? He's crazy!
Get rid of him.
- Why me? - He's calling you.
You OK, Georges? Boot!
Do you mind, mister?
We're playing a game.
- OK... - Why are you here?
- Scram! - Why?
I don't wanna be seen with you.
- I'm with my buddies. - So?
- He's lost. - No, I'm not.
- Stop it! - Go away. I'll explain later.
But... Stop that!
Very well. Third right. Goodbye, mister.
- Yeah, sure! - Same to you.
Turns out, he'd lost his way.
Carry on.
The sign's unclear. Even I couldn't find it at first.
You've changed, Georges!
OK, let's go.
- Come on, guys. - Blue.
- Blue.
Take me back home.
That's it. Friends.
Friends. Hug. That's it.
OK, OK!
...without thinking.
Quick, I said.
- How long have I been here? - I won't say.
- Find the odd one out. - I won't!
Cut!
You're starting again.
Come along.
Good. It's looking very good.
It's not too swollen.
Is it painful?
- Feel anything? - It hurts at the back.
But I took those pills.
Yes, they're good stuff.
They made me a bit edgy.
Just a bit more patience...
Then, you'll crawl at my feet and thank me.
How many people died
on the Paris - Tokyo flight
on May 7, 1985?
It was a Boeing in March '82.
My secretary.
She tries to catch me out,
but she can't. It drives her crazy!
One last question, Doctor.
If I miss my old face, then what?
- What? - What if I miss my old face?
- That? - Yes, that.
That's finished, in the past.
- You want to be the best? - Yes, I do.
This is what you need, then.
- Don't you like it? - Oh, yes, it's...
Don't worry, it's natural, you're still in shock.
Sorry. You must think I'm ridiculous.
Not at all. Now you go home.
A nice cold bath, two aspirins,
a good night's sleep, that's it.
Don't tell anyone I fainted.
Go on.
- Off you go. - Thank you, Doctor.
Goodbye, Doctor.
Thanks again. I mean it.
Thank you.
What?
Wait and see how women treat you in a week's time.
Thank you!
What're you doing here?
- What have you done? - It's just my new face.
Let's go inside for a minute.
- Like in the old days. - You don't get it.
Listen, remember those guys you saw yesterday?
They're the Chivers.
Say "Chivers".
Right. And I'm a Chivers now, see?
That means I'm one of the best.
- What am I? - You're nothing.
So, listen, with these guys,
I'm on thin ice. I could be out in under 2 seconds.
Do you understand "out"?
- Not being inside. - Right.
I could be not inside in under 2 seconds.
That's why I can't be seen with you. You suck.
You suck big time. You suck to infinity.
What are you implying by
"You suck big time, to infinity"?
Blaise, look. Your face isn't even redone.
And no-one wears those clothes now! Like your bike!
Who has a bike like that? Can you see any like it?
You don't need to look! There aren't any.
No-one wears those Uruguayan bracelets.
Mexican!
Listen, I've got a solution for you.
You should go very far away
to a distant country.
An underdeveloped place where a loser like you
could become a king.
D'you understand "king"?
- Understand "king"? - Yeah, I do.
It takes me a while with this new humor.
- Well done! It worked this time. - Listen.
I won't tell you again. I'm being serious, man to man.
This is the time to listen up.
I don't want to see you again. Don't come knocking.
Got that? It's over. We go our separate ways.
Is that new humor?
We were like brother and sister!
We'll see who the real Chivers is!
We'll see who the king is!
I'm the king! A great king!
It works.
It hurts a bit, but it works.
Not that!
Show me.
That's not bad.
- Good start. - Really? You like it?
It's better than it was.
You should fix the chin.
I don't like the temples. You can see the bone structure.
Do you like it?
I don't know anymore. The bone?
Structure.
So, Georges...
You're now a Chivers.
- Thanks for having me. - You're a lucky guy.
I know. I'm really touched. Chivers.
Hey, that reminds me.
Forgotten something?
- Isn't today the 15th? - Oh, yeah.
Boot.
Who are you? Beat it!
No... How are you doing?
Know who I am? I said, beat it!
I know who you are. I know exactly who you are.
I'm a bit like you. Look what I did to my face.
- I'm not a homo! - Nor am I.
What kind of trap is this?
Who are you?
- Don't you recognize me? - My pal, the monkey!
OK, alright!
You keep out of this.
You didn't see a thing.
I did! I saw!
See to your homo pal there!
I want you!
Hey, I got a penknife! A freakin' penknife!
Look what I can do! Let go!
Let go of him!
Or I'll do something stupid!
I'll count to 5.
One...
Beat it! You too!
Go on. Scram.
What'll you have?
Water with small ice cubes.
Not big ones.
A magnum!
So, what's your name?
Blaise.
Shit name.
I'll call you Chuck.
- OK, Chuck, I'm Dan. - Alright, Dan.
Boot.
Hey, wow!
I like that staple job.
Is it new?
I did it at home, in fact.
I love it.
- It takes 20 minutes. - Very bold.
Thanks. Bibi, meet Chuck.
- Hi, Chuck. - Blaise.
Blaise usually.
C'mon, Chuck, you gotta drink!
I got it.
Stop it!
- Why are you here? - What?
- Trying to oust me? - No.
So, why are you here? Didn't I say, go far away?
To another country? See another gang?
- What did you say? - Nothing.
- What? - Something.
- Did you say you knew me? - Dunno. Bye.
- Stay here! - What?
You'll never be a Chivers, you peasant!
No-one says "peasant".
You're mad that I'm now a Chivers.
Stop drinking that. I know you hate milk.
- You just want to be like us. - I love it!
I'm a Chivers!
If I see you hanging around my gang, I'll kill you, OK?
Where were you?
- I went for some fresh air. - Yeah?
You often do that?
- It was the first time. - I wonder why.
Blow on me.
- Why should I? - Do as I say.
- What's wrong with you? - Hurry up and blow.
- Ridiculous! - Hurry up!
With your mouth, not your nose.
- You doing it on purpose? - What's the point?
Blow on me.
What?
Come on, get over here!
You made fun of us, huh?
You sure made fun of us!
I knew we couldn't trust you!
Where do you hide 'em? Where?
- What? - You know what!
Show me where you hide 'em!
C'mon, show me!
You've got 'em! I'll find 'em!
Hey, guys!
He's totally crazy!
There we are!
What's this, then? And this?
- Cigarettes! - I don't smoke.
This guy's a traitor! What's this, then?
They're not mine!
- Punish him! - Scumbag!
Chain smoker!
Gross!
You smoke? So, smoke this!
- Chain smoker! - You're not a Chivers!
You hear me?
Money for a face lift. For a face lift...
Money for a face lift...
Thank you, sir!
Spare a dime for a face lift!
Stop! Stop the machine!
Give me some money now!
- I don't have much. - What?
I don't have much.
Thank you.
Wanna make some money?
What've I done? I've done nothing.
- Wanna make some money? - What?
Wanna make some money?
I wanna... Yes, why?
I can't do it! It won't catch!
C'mon!
No, but the paint... It's all...
Force it!
I'll scratch the...
Calm down and force it.
You say right, I go right...
Out of the way!
A little movement...
- Get in. - Oh, we're stealing it?
Yes, hurry up.
With a Japanese car, I'd do it in 4 seconds.
Careful though...
It might take me 10 this time.
Go on, count.
One...
- Count. - Two...
Three...
Hang on!
Mechanical trouble?
No, I'm just performing fellatio on him.
Have a nice day.
Five...
Eight...
- OK, see you there. - What about you?
- I'll go in my chair. - OK, see you.
Let's go.
- Take that one. - That one?
Yes?
Mom, someone put me in a car.
What? Laura, who put you in a car?
A man in a wheelchair.
- An electric chair. - An electric chair.
- Wheelchair or electric chair? - Both.
You're incoherent. Put him on.
It's my mother.
What is all this? Who are you?
My friend's kidnapped Laura.
This better be a joke.
I'm afraid not.
I want to reassure you, he isn't a pervert.
He's a very gentle man who just needs money.
OK, put your friend on.
- She wants you. - No, I'm not here.
- She's nice. - You talk.
Go on, she's nice.
- No-one says "Hello" now. - Oh, sorry.
How much do you want?
How much? Uh, hang on.
I dunno... Enough to buy an SUV, get a face lift...
I see.
I finish my piano lesson at 5.
Meet me at school. I'll have the cash.
- OK. - Be on time.
- So? - It's OK.
We got the money and the meet.
See? Easy, isn't it?
Thank you.
We're here!
Ma'am!
I'll wait over there.
I'll wait by the car.
"The little racsel... rascal
escaped," Nicholas smiled.
"They must be looking...
Iooking for her," said Caputine.
Capucine.
"We must take her back," said Teacher.
Too fast. I'm reading.
- "Can we go..." - "...visit her?"
I'm reading it!
"To see if she's alright."
Stop it!
There's your mom!
I'm not pleased, Laura.
That's the last time you walk home.
- It wasn't my fault. - We'll discuss it later.
Hello. OK?
There.
- See what you cost me? - I did nothing.
- It's not her fault. - It is.
- It's not. - You'll go to boarding school.
No, not boarding school!
Stop shouting. Go wait in the car.
Run along.
I'll turn a blind eye.
- Why do you want a face lift? - Because.
- You're not bad. - That's cruel!
Let's go.
Why don't you come for tea?
What? Nonsense! No!
Stop it!
Crazy! She's crazy! Witch!
She's turning me on...
19 days later
I'll change modes.
Lift and hit.
Look.
There you go. My, oh my!
Look, it's almost split.
- OK, Dan? - OK, Chuck?
Good to see you, Chuck.
- Looking good. - Feeling good!
How goes it?
No-one says that now!
Do it quicker.
- How you doing? - Great.
Hey, Serge!
- Love the sounds. - I just made it up.
The other guy plucks up courage,
goes back into the pharmacy...
No, wait for the end!
He goes back for the 3rd time.
The pharmacist sees him coming
and says, "What now?" He stares at her
and says, "This time, I've swallowed the whole box!"
Funny, isn't it?
I've got one.
I've got one!
Look up. What do you see?
Clouds?
Don't they look like... fabric?
Gotcha!
Gotcha! Gotcha!
I just don't care, me!
Fabric!
What's wrong?
You're absent.
Relax, you're all stiff.
Come on.
I feel like I'm kissing a tree!
I'm bored.
Bored?
What the...
Max?
Won't it go rusty?
Are you kidding? That's the point!
The rust! Go on, Chuck.
C'mon!
There!
- Chivers! - I like it! Lots!
My turn!
Do mine real big, OK?
Here goes...
- Great! - Go on.
I didn't feel a thing.
I'm out of staples.
Just a sec.
I knew it! I smelled him!
You Chivers OK?
Having fun?
What're you doing?
I asked first.
You having fun?
We won't tell you!
- Yeah, we are. - Why did you tell him?
You're a joke, you Chivers!
He's provoking us.
Put that cigarette down.
It's unbearable.
We can't just let him smoke.
I've been thinking about you lot
and actually,
you're losers!
Don't move, bitch!
Stay there!
What's he doing?
Look, it doesn't work.
It does!
It worked this morning.
Shut up, it works!
- Forget it! - It's OK, Chuck!
Shit!
Drink some milk!
You go that way, I'll go this way.
- Good luck. - Wait! Why?
Gotta make a decision.
I'll go this way, you that way.
No, wait!
What is it?
You go that way.
- I'll go this way. - Why?
I don't trust you.
What're you doing?
Beat it!
- I'm checking... - Go that way!
- Go! - OK!
Walk that way.
- It's not your forest. - It is!
Go or I'll shoot you!
Don't threaten me!
No, I'm not interested.
Give me a cigarette.
Let go.
Your hand.
No, the feet.
Stop doing that.
You do it.
Subtitles: J. Miller
DVD subtitling: CNST, Montreal